It's like Magnum P.I. but worse. Way worse

Kakow!

4,658 notes

azizisbored:

I love it that people spend time on things like this! Well done.
doree:

I assume this was on I Love Charts at some point but my sister just forwarded it to me and BOOTS WITH THE FUR WILL NEVER NOT BE HILARIOUS.

azizisbored:

I love it that people spend time on things like this! Well done.

doree:

I assume this was on I Love Charts at some point but my sister just forwarded it to me and BOOTS WITH THE FUR WILL NEVER NOT BE HILARIOUS.

124 notes

jamesurbaniak:

They Can’t All Be Gems
I first refer you to the comments by Kasey Anderson, Alison Agosti and Danforth France. I’ll wait. La de dah. Read them? Good.
So yeah. It is, as Danforth says, a crap joke. Not up to the Sulk’s usual standards (not being sarcastic here. His tweet about dreams—ironically, posted exactly one year ago today—is one of my all-time favorite tweets ever). That is assuming it is a joke and that he’s not actually expressing some sort of Archie Bunker “those Japs got theirs” type sentiment. (Many decrying him on Twitter seem to think he is doing that. It should also be noted that +100 retweeted him.) As the saying goes, on the internet nobody knows whether you’re a dog who’s serious or a dog who’s making a joke. Context suggests the Sulk is attempting the latter. He’s a professional comedy writer who only tweets jokes and has never, to my knowledge, engaged in joke-free political/social commentary. So the question is: what is the joke?
Alison mentions the seventies. Back then the legendary Michael O’Donoghue once wrote an unaired sketch for SNL in which Donald Pleasence was to play an old Nazi commander who was being interviewed. He tells the host that there was actually a “very good reason” for the Holocaust. The skeptical host asks what that reason could possibly be. Pleasence’s Nazi then whispers the reason into the host’s ear. The host reacts to this revelation with appreciative surprise: he’d never understood before!
What’s the joke there? Well, of course, the joke is that there could never be any reason. The “reason” doesn’t exist. Is this the area where the Sulk is trafficking? That there is no way to allay the horror? Is his tweet a darkly satirical mocking of false equivalency and the absurdity of framing natural disasters retributively? Before you accuse me of reaching, please understand that  I’m just trying to understand the fucking joke. Even the Sulk might agree that if you have to spend two paragraphs theorizing on a joke’s meaning, it probably didn’t work.
Interestingly, this morning, before the Sulk’s tweet, Kelly Oxford posted a screenshot of a comment some young dipshit made on Facebook. The dipshit wrote: “people are sad and worried for Japan?…news update WE WENT TO WAR WITH THEM AND THEY BOMBED THE SHIT OUTTA PEARL HARBOR…this hurricane is just another way of god saying fuck u america still #1.” Kelly responded with the headline: “FOR EVERY 1 OF “HIM”, I HOPE THERE ARE AT LEAST 100,000 OF *US*.” After this kid realized The Most Famous Woman in Social Networking™ had Tumbled his post, he wrote to her saying “I apologize for my mistake” and asked her to delete it. She didn’t, but she blurred his image and user name.
Quantatively, the dipshit’s post is no different than the Sulk’s. They both express the same sentiment. If the posts have any differences, they must lie in intention. Dipshit (I saw his FB avatar before Kelly blurred it) looks to be a very young dude who is most likely not a professional comedy writer living in Los Angeles who writes for a show that “pushes the envelope” and dates a similarly envelope-pushing comedienne and runs with a sophisticated, tend-to-be-liberal crowd and who met me once at a fancy-ass event in Los Angeles where we had a very nice conversation. Dipshit meant it. I find it hard to believe the Sulk “meant” his. But again, what is the joke?
Earlier today another professional comedy writer tweeted some Japanese earthquake jokes and received flak for them (although not to Sulk’s degree). From @JasonMustian:
“8.9 Earthquake Hits Japan, Thousands of Giggling School Girls in Critical Condition”
“Celebrity Karaoke Concert to Benefit Victims of Japanese Earthquake”
“8.9 Earthquake Hits Japan, Thousands of Kamikaze Planes Destroyed Prematurely”
Not funny either in my opinion (and as I do the Sulk, I also follow Mr. Mustian because I’ve found him consistently LOL-ish in the past) but one can look at these tweets and clearly identify them as jokes. They take things that are iconically, stereotypically Japanese— giggling schoolgirls, Kamikaze pilots, karaoke — and set them against a real-life incident. They follow a formula and one might imagine after the Big One in Los Angeles, a Japanese comedy writer tweeting “Devastating earthquake in America: thousands of cowboys suddenly homeless.” When people tweeted their offense at Mr. Mustian he posted a link to the Red Cross and told them to “put their money where their big fucking mouths are.” Again, if you have to defend your jokes with follow-up blog posts and links to charitable organizations, they probably didn’t work.
So what was Mr. Sulkin’s joke? We may never know, as he doesn’t reply to people and never posts without his comedy hat firmly in place. (He did elliptically acknowledge the controversy by suggesting a couple of his Follow Friday recommendations “get it.” Maybe I should ask them.) I will continue to follow him and maybe I’ll meet him again someday at another fancy-ass event in Los Angeles in which case, hopefully over beers, I’ll ask him what the hell he was thinking.

jamesurbaniak:

They Can’t All Be Gems

I first refer you to the comments by Kasey Anderson, Alison Agosti and Danforth France. I’ll wait. La de dah. Read them? Good.

So yeah. It is, as Danforth says, a crap joke. Not up to the Sulk’s usual standards (not being sarcastic here. His tweet about dreams—ironically, posted exactly one year ago today—is one of my all-time favorite tweets ever). That is assuming it is a joke and that he’s not actually expressing some sort of Archie Bunker “those Japs got theirs” type sentiment. (Many decrying him on Twitter seem to think he is doing that. It should also be noted that +100 retweeted him.) As the saying goes, on the internet nobody knows whether you’re a dog who’s serious or a dog who’s making a joke. Context suggests the Sulk is attempting the latter. He’s a professional comedy writer who only tweets jokes and has never, to my knowledge, engaged in joke-free political/social commentary. So the question is: what is the joke?

Alison mentions the seventies. Back then the legendary Michael O’Donoghue once wrote an unaired sketch for SNL in which Donald Pleasence was to play an old Nazi commander who was being interviewed. He tells the host that there was actually a “very good reason” for the Holocaust. The skeptical host asks what that reason could possibly be. Pleasence’s Nazi then whispers the reason into the host’s ear. The host reacts to this revelation with appreciative surprise: he’d never understood before!

What’s the joke there? Well, of course, the joke is that there could never be any reason. The “reason” doesn’t exist. Is this the area where the Sulk is trafficking? That there is no way to allay the horror? Is his tweet a darkly satirical mocking of false equivalency and the absurdity of framing natural disasters retributively? Before you accuse me of reaching, please understand that I’m just trying to understand the fucking joke. Even the Sulk might agree that if you have to spend two paragraphs theorizing on a joke’s meaning, it probably didn’t work.

Interestingly, this morning, before the Sulk’s tweet, Kelly Oxford posted a screenshot of a comment some young dipshit made on Facebook. The dipshit wrote: “people are sad and worried for Japan?…news update WE WENT TO WAR WITH THEM AND THEY BOMBED THE SHIT OUTTA PEARL HARBOR…this hurricane is just another way of god saying fuck u america still #1.” Kelly responded with the headline: “FOR EVERY 1 OF “HIM”, I HOPE THERE ARE AT LEAST 100,000 OF *US*.” After this kid realized The Most Famous Woman in Social Networking™ had Tumbled his post, he wrote to her saying “I apologize for my mistake” and asked her to delete it. She didn’t, but she blurred his image and user name.

Quantatively, the dipshit’s post is no different than the Sulk’s. They both express the same sentiment. If the posts have any differences, they must lie in intention. Dipshit (I saw his FB avatar before Kelly blurred it) looks to be a very young dude who is most likely not a professional comedy writer living in Los Angeles who writes for a show that “pushes the envelope” and dates a similarly envelope-pushing comedienne and runs with a sophisticated, tend-to-be-liberal crowd and who met me once at a fancy-ass event in Los Angeles where we had a very nice conversation. Dipshit meant it. I find it hard to believe the Sulk “meant” his. But again, what is the joke?

Earlier today another professional comedy writer tweeted some Japanese earthquake jokes and received flak for them (although not to Sulk’s degree). From @JasonMustian:

“8.9 Earthquake Hits Japan, Thousands of Giggling School Girls in Critical Condition”

“Celebrity Karaoke Concert to Benefit Victims of Japanese Earthquake”

“8.9 Earthquake Hits Japan, Thousands of Kamikaze Planes Destroyed Prematurely”

Not funny either in my opinion (and as I do the Sulk, I also follow Mr. Mustian because I’ve found him consistently LOL-ish in the past) but one can look at these tweets and clearly identify them as jokes. They take things that are iconically, stereotypically Japanese— giggling schoolgirls, Kamikaze pilots, karaoke — and set them against a real-life incident. They follow a formula and one might imagine after the Big One in Los Angeles, a Japanese comedy writer tweeting “Devastating earthquake in America: thousands of cowboys suddenly homeless.” When people tweeted their offense at Mr. Mustian he posted a link to the Red Cross and told them to “put their money where their big fucking mouths are.” Again, if you have to defend your jokes with follow-up blog posts and links to charitable organizations, they probably didn’t work.

So what was Mr. Sulkin’s joke? We may never know, as he doesn’t reply to people and never posts without his comedy hat firmly in place. (He did elliptically acknowledge the controversy by suggesting a couple of his Follow Friday recommendations “get it.” Maybe I should ask them.) I will continue to follow him and maybe I’ll meet him again someday at another fancy-ass event in Los Angeles in which case, hopefully over beers, I’ll ask him what the hell he was thinking.

124 notes

jamesurbaniak:

They Can’t All Be Gems
I first refer you to the comments by Kasey Anderson, Alison Agosti and Danforth France. I’ll wait. La de dah. Read them? Good.
So yeah. It is, as Danforth says, a crap joke. Not up to the Sulk’s usual standards (not being sarcastic here. His tweet about dreams—ironically, posted exactly one year ago today—is one of my all-time favorite tweets ever). That is assuming it is a joke and that he’s not actually expressing some sort of Archie Bunker “those Japs got theirs” type sentiment. (Many decrying him on Twitter seem to think he is doing that. It should also be noted that +100 retweeted him.) As the saying goes, on the internet nobody knows whether you’re a dog who’s serious or a dog who’s making a joke. Context suggests the Sulk is attempting the latter. He’s a professional comedy writer who only tweets jokes and has never, to my knowledge, engaged in joke-free political/social commentary. So the question is: what is the joke?
Alison mentions the seventies. Back then the legendary Michael O’Donoghue once wrote an unaired sketch for SNL in which Donald Pleasence was to play an old Nazi commander who was being interviewed. He tells the host that there was actually a “very good reason” for the Holocaust. The skeptical host asks what that reason could possibly be. Pleasence’s Nazi then whispers the reason into the host’s ear. The host reacts to this revelation with appreciative surprise: he’d never understood before!
What’s the joke there? Well, of course, the joke is that there could never be any reason. The “reason” doesn’t exist. Is this the area where the Sulk is trafficking? That there is no way to allay the horror? Is his tweet a darkly satirical mocking of false equivalency and the absurdity of framing natural disasters retrubutively? Before you accuse me of reaching, please understand that  I’m just trying to understand the fucking joke. Even the Sulk might agree that if you have to spend two paragraphs theorizing on a joke’s meaning, it probably didn’t work.
Interestingly, this morning, before the Sulk’s tweet, Kelly Oxford posted a screenshot of a comment some young dipshit made on Facebook. The dipshit wrote: “people are sad and worried for Japan?…news update WE WENT TO WAR WITH THEM AND THEY BOMBED THE SHIT OUTTA PEARL HARBOR…this hurricane is just another way of god saying fuck u america still #1.” Kelly responded with the headline: “FOR EVERY 1 OF “HIM”, I HOPE THERE ARE AT LEAST 100,000 OF *US*.” After this kid realized The Most Famous Woman in Social Networking™ had Tumbled his post, he wrote to her saying “I apologize for my mistake” and asked her to delete it. She didn’t, but she blurred his image and user name.
Quantatively, the dipshit’s post is no different than the Sulk’s. They both express the same sentiment. If the posts have any differences, they must lie in intention. Dipshit (I saw his FB avatar before Kelly blurred it) looks to be a very young dude who is most likely not a professional comedy writer living in Los Angeles who writes for a show that “pushes the envelope” and dates a similarly envelope-pushing comedienne and runs with a sophisticated, tend-to-be-liberal crowd and who met me once at a fancy-ass event in Los Angeles where we had a very nice conversation. Dipshit meant it. I find it hard to believe the Sulk “meant” his. But again, what is the joke?
Earlier today another professional comedy writer tweeted some Japanese earthquake jokes and received flak for them (although not to Sulk’s degree). From @JasonMustian:
“8.9 Earthquake Hits Japan, Thousands of Giggling School Girls in Critical Condition”
“Celebrity Karaoke Concert to Benefit Victims of Japanese Earthquake”
“8.9 Earthquake Hits Japan, Thousands of Kamikaze Planes Destroyed Prematurely”
Not funny either in my opinion (and as I do the Sulk, I also follow Mr. Mustian because I’ve found him consistently LOL-ish in the past) but one can look at these tweets and clearly identify them as jokes. They take things that are iconically, stereotypically Japanese— giggling schoolgirls, Kamikaze pilots, karaoke — and set them against a real-life incident. They follow a formula and one might imagine after the Big One in Los Angeles, a Japanese comedy writer tweeting “Devastating earthquake in America: thousands of cowboys suddenly homeless.” When people tweeted their offense at Mr. Mustian he posted a link to the Red Cross and told them to “put their money where their big fucking mouths are.” Again, if you have to defend your jokes with follow-up blog posts and links to charitable organizations, they probably didn’t work.
So what was Mr. Sulkin’s joke? We may never know, as he doesn’t reply to people and never posts without his comedy hat firmly in place. (He did elliptically acknowledge the controversy by suggesting a couple of his Follow Friday recommendations “get it.” Maybe I should ask them.) I will continue to follow him and maybe I’ll meet him again someday at another fancy-ass event in Los Angeles in which case, hopefully over beers, I’ll ask him what the hell he was thinking.

jamesurbaniak:

They Can’t All Be Gems

I first refer you to the comments by Kasey Anderson, Alison Agosti and Danforth France. I’ll wait. La de dah. Read them? Good.

So yeah. It is, as Danforth says, a crap joke. Not up to the Sulk’s usual standards (not being sarcastic here. His tweet about dreams—ironically, posted exactly one year ago today—is one of my all-time favorite tweets ever). That is assuming it is a joke and that he’s not actually expressing some sort of Archie Bunker “those Japs got theirs” type sentiment. (Many decrying him on Twitter seem to think he is doing that. It should also be noted that +100 retweeted him.) As the saying goes, on the internet nobody knows whether you’re a dog who’s serious or a dog who’s making a joke. Context suggests the Sulk is attempting the latter. He’s a professional comedy writer who only tweets jokes and has never, to my knowledge, engaged in joke-free political/social commentary. So the question is: what is the joke?

Alison mentions the seventies. Back then the legendary Michael O’Donoghue once wrote an unaired sketch for SNL in which Donald Pleasence was to play an old Nazi commander who was being interviewed. He tells the host that there was actually a “very good reason” for the Holocaust. The skeptical host asks what that reason could possibly be. Pleasence’s Nazi then whispers the reason into the host’s ear. The host reacts to this revelation with appreciative surprise: he’d never understood before!

What’s the joke there? Well, of course, the joke is that there could never be any reason. The “reason” doesn’t exist. Is this the area where the Sulk is trafficking? That there is no way to allay the horror? Is his tweet a darkly satirical mocking of false equivalency and the absurdity of framing natural disasters retrubutively? Before you accuse me of reaching, please understand that I’m just trying to understand the fucking joke. Even the Sulk might agree that if you have to spend two paragraphs theorizing on a joke’s meaning, it probably didn’t work.

Interestingly, this morning, before the Sulk’s tweet, Kelly Oxford posted a screenshot of a comment some young dipshit made on Facebook. The dipshit wrote: “people are sad and worried for Japan?…news update WE WENT TO WAR WITH THEM AND THEY BOMBED THE SHIT OUTTA PEARL HARBOR…this hurricane is just another way of god saying fuck u america still #1.” Kelly responded with the headline: “FOR EVERY 1 OF “HIM”, I HOPE THERE ARE AT LEAST 100,000 OF *US*.” After this kid realized The Most Famous Woman in Social Networking™ had Tumbled his post, he wrote to her saying “I apologize for my mistake” and asked her to delete it. She didn’t, but she blurred his image and user name.

Quantatively, the dipshit’s post is no different than the Sulk’s. They both express the same sentiment. If the posts have any differences, they must lie in intention. Dipshit (I saw his FB avatar before Kelly blurred it) looks to be a very young dude who is most likely not a professional comedy writer living in Los Angeles who writes for a show that “pushes the envelope” and dates a similarly envelope-pushing comedienne and runs with a sophisticated, tend-to-be-liberal crowd and who met me once at a fancy-ass event in Los Angeles where we had a very nice conversation. Dipshit meant it. I find it hard to believe the Sulk “meant” his. But again, what is the joke?

Earlier today another professional comedy writer tweeted some Japanese earthquake jokes and received flak for them (although not to Sulk’s degree). From @JasonMustian:

“8.9 Earthquake Hits Japan, Thousands of Giggling School Girls in Critical Condition”

“Celebrity Karaoke Concert to Benefit Victims of Japanese Earthquake”

“8.9 Earthquake Hits Japan, Thousands of Kamikaze Planes Destroyed Prematurely”

Not funny either in my opinion (and as I do the Sulk, I also follow Mr. Mustian because I’ve found him consistently LOL-ish in the past) but one can look at these tweets and clearly identify them as jokes. They take things that are iconically, stereotypically Japanese— giggling schoolgirls, Kamikaze pilots, karaoke — and set them against a real-life incident. They follow a formula and one might imagine after the Big One in Los Angeles, a Japanese comedy writer tweeting “Devastating earthquake in America: thousands of cowboys suddenly homeless.” When people tweeted their offense at Mr. Mustian he posted a link to the Red Cross and told them to “put their money where their big fucking mouths are.” Again, if you have to defend your jokes with follow-up blog posts and links to charitable organizations, they probably didn’t work.

So what was Mr. Sulkin’s joke? We may never know, as he doesn’t reply to people and never posts without his comedy hat firmly in place. (He did elliptically acknowledge the controversy by suggesting a couple of his Follow Friday recommendations “get it.” Maybe I should ask them.) I will continue to follow him and maybe I’ll meet him again someday at another fancy-ass event in Los Angeles in which case, hopefully over beers, I’ll ask him what the hell he was thinking.